It's the day of Dane's funeral, and after weddings, funerals have the highest chance of going a bit Pete Tong. A casting call must've gone out for rough looking extras to play the Hibbs extended family; some of these pass a flask 'round the church whilst Macca and the rest of them give secret nods and signs. During the eulogy, Shona approaches Clayton and is told in no uncertain terms to get lost, but she sticks around and after some malarkey with the coffin, the signal is given and the dodgy undertakers attack the policemen, snip Clayton's handcuffs, and the young crim makes a run for it. After Billy very manfully rugby tackles Macca, the police turn up and take Macca and the others to the station - and Shona too.
Whilst his girlfriend is being questioned by the police, David's going ahead with his plan to house the stuffed rodent, Vin Weasel, in the barbers and has roped in poor Gail to put up a shelf. They should just capture and mount one of those meerkats. When Shona returns home from the cop shop, he forgets about the barber shop accoutrements, and starts panicking that Clayton will come after Max and Lily. He starts arranging for them to leave and tells Shona that if he catches up with Clayton before the cops do, then he'll be deader than a stuffed stoat (I'm paraphrasing).
Carla didn't start the fire, it was always burning, since the world's been turning, but Roy is adamant that she needs to tell Abi the truth to absolve her. She is about as keen on this idea as Roy is on grief counselling, which Toyah turns up to suggest. I'd've thought Ms Battersby would be busy enough without needing to actively recruit people over a bacon barm. If I saw my GP, Dr Jack, down the local caff telling random people they really should get that mole looked at, I would assume that he had too much time on his hands. Later, Roy tells Carla she has to move out. Harsh burn, Roy, pun intended.
Gary tells Cara the factory roof was a Phelan bodge job and it will cost £50K to fix. On top of this, he will need half of it up front and the factory will have to close down for six weeks, at which point Carla says can only afford to replace the roofing felt. Doesn't anyone on the street have insurance?
Amy is happy to pretend she's still pregnant if she can get another day off school after half term. At some point, even Steve's gonna work it out, surely. At the moment though, he's too busy gazumping the gazumper and announces that he's upped the offer on the house and it's been accepted. Claudia probably needs a place with a much higher ceiling, to be quite honest.
Meanwhile, at the hospital, Sinead's having radiotherapy whilst Daniel does his essay and the nurses look after baby Bertie
And finally, Gina's decided she's going to start a new life in Newcastle. I guess that plan will last as long as Kevin is away.
Rachel Stevenson - on twitter
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